she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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