Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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