I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
The struggles of a small town man whore
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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