I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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