dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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