I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
