I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
