No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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