Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
