just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Did I show you my penis last night?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
