I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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