Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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