You're so nebulous sometimes
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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