...so i touched it.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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