I love black thongs
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
