we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Your mouth is God's brothel.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
