Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
