If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Threesome in a minivan. New low
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
