Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
