Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize