i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
