yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Randomize
