the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
