I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Randomize
