Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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