i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
