Don't you send me to vm
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
