She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
