I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
