I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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