We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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