Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
