Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
