remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
