Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
