She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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