Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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