i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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