That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize