you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
