youre lurking in front of me
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
