It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
