The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
My boob is missing a layer of skin
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
