We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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