You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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