I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
We are two peas in an std pod
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
