We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
