He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
