I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
