It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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