you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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