It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
