My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize